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Monday, 21 May 2012

Your Embarrassing Bedroom Questions—Answered

Too shy to ask some of your burning questions about sex? Find some answers here

By SC Chua for Yahoo! Southeast Asia

We aren't exactly well known for our tell-all sex stories, but that doesn't mean we aren't curious. Here, the answers to some of the burning questions you've always wanted to ask about sex, but were too shy to do so.

I sometimes feel like I want to pee during sex. Will I actually wet the bed?

Some sexual positions can make you feel like you're about to release a leak, especially when you are close to an orgasm. As Hilda Hutcherson M.D., assistant clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Columbia University explains: "The bladder lies close to the front vaginal wall, so any stimulation to that part can trigger the urge to go to the bathroom."
Believe it or not, it is actually a good sign. While you may be tempted to stop, the trick is to actually keep on going to reach orgasm. Besides, the more in tune you are with this feeling, the easier it will be for you to differentiate between coming close to an orgasm and actually having to pee.
Still not comfortable with the feeling? Make a beeline for the toilet beforehand to empty your bladder so you don't have to worry the entire time about wetting the bed. Or simply wait out the sensation, as Dr. Hutcherson advises. "You may feel as if you're about to wet yourself but that isn't possible, and after several seconds, the feeling will subside."

My partner is a little on the small side. Does it matter?

It's not just a lip service statement but size shouldn't really matter. In fact, men on the shorter end of the stick actually make up for it by being more attentive and a more willing participant in bed.
What should matter instead is how you feel when having sex with your partner. But to help spice things up, try being on top or lying on your back while lifting your legs up. This will give your man more space—and you, more control—for him to get closer to your G-spot, which is actually a plus point for a small penis. Says Joy Davidson, Ph.D, author of Fearless Sex, "a small penis tends to fit nicely against many women's G-spot, whereas a larger one may miss it entirely."

I'm worried of smelling fishy down there. Can I change the way I smell?

What you need to know about vaginal odor—every woman has them. The other important fact? Some men actually find the scent arousing. So instead of stressing out about how you smell, why not embrace it and just go with the flow? As long as you are washing your vagina with a mild soap or vaginal wash, then you don't have much to worry about.

There are also some things you can eat to make it more pleasant down there. Roshini Raj, M.D and Lisa Lombardi, authors of What The Yuck? The Freaky and Fabulous Truth About Your Body suggest a vegetarian diet—with fruits and vegetables like pineapple and celery. What they recommend you stay away from? Pungent spices and dairy products, which only make vaginal odor stronger.

However, if you notice that you smell unusually fishy, especially for a long period, you might want to get it checked out with your gynecologist as unusual vaginal odor can be a sign of an STD.

My husband goes soft sometimes mid-way through sex. Am I doing something wrong?
There are several reasons to blame for your man's condition but one thing needs to be clear—you're not one of them. He could be distracted (yes, it is possible!) during lovemaking, which is why he isn't 100 percent focused on you, causing him to lose his erection.

Is he also going through a tough time—whether with his personal life or his career? Stress is a number one erection killer, claims Dr. Hutcherson. "If your partner is depressed or more frazzled than usual, his stress and anxiety levels can interfere with his ability to maintain his erection. It can also be a symptom of a disease like diabetes or a side effect of drugs, like certain anti-depressants."

Abusing alcohol and illegal drugs could also make him more likely to lose his erection. Find out if this is the case (but don't accuse him without solid proof!). If so, you may need to get him to seek professional help.

I'm afraid of going loose down there, especially if I am actively having sex. Is this possible?
Not at all! No amount of sex will cause your vagina to stretch out. As the vagina is a muscle, it will expand and stretch to accommodate whatever is inside. When empty, it goes right back to its original state. Also, just like penises, vagina size varies from women to women.

The reason why you (or your partner) might feel a little roomy down there? You're probably more comfortable with him so your vaginal muscle is more relaxed. Also, he's probably doing a really good job at turning you on, causing your vagina to expand.

The only thing that can cause your vagina to stretch out a little? Giving birth. But with regular Kegel exercises—where you clench and unclench your vaginal muscle repeatedly—you can tighten the grip back on. In fact, experts recommend that you perform your Kegel exercises regularly to improve sex. Says Laura Berman, Ph.D, author of The Passion Prescription, "The stronger these muscles are, the more intense your orgasms will be."

So how do you do the Kegel? Simple, follow these steps: Essentially, you are holding your PC muscles (the muscle you clench when you want to stop your urine from flowing while peeing). Do that for five seconds, then release. Repeat 20 times daily (or more if you are up for it!) to keep those muscles in good shape.

Source : Yahoo News

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